Hope CCKB service talk at KUF – Keith on Dec 3rd, 2017

from Kingston Unitarian Fellowship, Sunday service December 3rd, 2017. Service led by CCKB group, selection from one of the speakers, sangha member Keith Gawronski-McNinch:

HOPE comes in many forms, and can indeed be naive, passive, clinging to irrational belief, and deeply attached to outcomes. HOPE can expect perfection while intertwined with a fear that dreads anything less. And yes, HOPE can even be dangerous, an illusion holding us in harmful situations.

But there is also a type of HOPE which is not attached to the results of our actions; a type of HOPE not clinging to naive belief that everything will turn out well. This kind of HOPE is informed by awareness, and is active, not passive, not being attached to outcomes, not being filled with expectations, but rather, seeing events and circumstances as meaningful on their own, and worthwhile, regardless of how they turn out.

Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh often says that without the mud, there can be no lotus. He uses mindfulness to transform suffering and painful emotions, heal past trauma, and turn this “mud” into compassion for ourselves and others. He teaches that positive emotions always need to be nurtured and fed to survive; and likewise suffering survives only because we enable and feed it.

Being aware of the painful feelings is an art. Most of us don’t like to be with our pain. We’re afraid of being overwhelmed by it, so we seek to run away. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that the function of mindfulness is, first and foremost to recognize suffering and take care of it. Like a mother takes a crying baby into her arms without suppressing, judging or ignoring the crying, mindfulness is like that mother, recognizing and embracing suffering, without judgement. The practice is not to fight or suppress our feelings, but rather to cradle them tenderly. And the more you embrace your pain with mindfulness, the more you learn how to handle emotions, and gain insight to face and solve problems.

It is possible to get stuck in the “mud” of life, and find it hard to practice, allowing despair to overwhelm you. Like goats chewing cud, we ruminate on regrets and sorrows, chew on them, swallow them, bring them back up, and eat them again and again, making ourselves victims of the past and future, not living our lives.

The energy of mindfulness can help us. Awareness and insight into things, as they are, not only make hardship less difficult to bear, but help us accept and cope with any outcome. Often when we cling to HOPE for a future we want, our energies and capabilities lose focus on the present moment, including solutions that may be possible. So, it’s not that we shouldn’t have HOPE, but that we not allow it to become an obstacle, blocking us from being present to reality before our eyes, where we may gain insight that may release ourselves and others from past or ongoing suffering.

If we re-channel the energy into being aware of what is going on in the present moment, we open up the possibility for breaking through, discovering joy and peace available right now.

So, when it comes to mindfulness and HOPE, the aim is not to cultivate HOPE, but to cultivate being without expectations, being present to what is, finding solutions when they are needed, but staying present and bouncing back rather than being dragged down by the past or future, to cultivate resilience, and to face the experience of life with both awareness and wonder, and openness to possibilities.

It reminds me of the serenity prayer, some of you may know it “acceptance of the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” HOPE which comes from that mindfulness of the things you can change, and the courage to change them, not clinging to the future, is the kind of HOPE which sees events and circumstances meaningful on their own, and sees ourselves capable of finding joy in the present moment, even in the face of great challenges. Thank you.